Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...

September 24th.

My concept of beauty is changing. I still don’t know what everyone is talking about when they say that the city is beautiful. Sorry, that’s the truth. It’s very dirty, and there are some beautiful buildings but some of them are surrounded by very ugly buildings. Still, I am beginning to learn to look beyond certain things and focus my attention on others. A few nights ago I saw stars in the sky for the first time over Buenos Aires. The city is so bright and dense and the air so dirty you can’t usually see the stars, but I also miss them a lot. I don’t look. This time I did and I saw them there, stars in the sky over the city I live in. Somehow, in ways I may never completely understand, that made me feel a certain warmth toward this place.

It happened again today. I looked out the window at dusk and I saw, over the pink building next door, which I’d never noticed before, that the sky was a lovely pink as well.

I passed a store the other day which for days had displayed a truly ugly pair of pants in the window. The pants were out of the window and onto the lanky looking dark haired Argentine standing in the doorway. They were grey and black and had this weird sort of Goucho thing going on (I know, Goucho). Still, on a tall, slender, dark haired, young girl they looked sort of becoming and somewhat cool.
I suddenly see more people smiling. I don’t know if it is because I’ve got the chip off my shoulder and am smiling more gently myself, inviting people in, or because, I’ve got the chip off my shoulder, and so I see people smile more often than I noticed before, or both.

I am calmer. I am easier to be with (don’t check that fact with my lawyer and we’re not talking about real estate today) and I manage the pace better. I am learning to go between “on” and “off” at the switch of a button and that helps. It helps to be able to let things go at the end of the day.

I still see the dog poop. Today I passed a woman on the street and gave her what for when she threw garbage on the street. In perfect Spanish I asked her why she threw her garbage in the street 5 meters after a trash can. She didn’t answer, but I clearly got to her, and that’s all I can hope for.