A Good Enough Life...

March 5th 2009

“Fortune does not change men, it unmasks them.”
Suzanne Necker

So many things have changed in our lives, in the world, in us, since we left San Diego for Argentina almost a year ago. Our plans have changed more than I might have imagined possible. Still, I find myself in search of the experience of the thing. I am here, and here I will stay for some time. Having made that choice the one that follows is what to do with my time.

A year or so ago, sitting with my friend Wendi, I described my life as a series of shopping excursions broken up with trips to the nail salon and lunches with my friends. I was having a lovely time, having worked very hard all of my life, just taking it easy and enjoying life. I was working, but not much. My friend, who knows me and my strengths well, said, “Oh Annie, what a terrible waste.” I knew what she meant and it had been pestering at me for some time. Since my husband’s death I had gotten into the habit of not putting too much stress on my system. What I know seven years later is that my system can take it now.

It was with this in mind that I began looking for work here in Buenos Aires. I note that there are three types of expats; the perpetual vacationers, retired, with enough money to live, who experience BsAs as a series of restaurants, parties, milongas and bars; young people, mostly students, taking time away before joining the corporate world and experiencing South America; and the working expat who lives in the city alongside the locals, commuting to an office, keeping hours, fitting life in among the responsibilities the same way people in the states do, but in Spanish. The former romanticize life here, and are often disappointed because of it. The middle group is on an adventure and everything they encounter, good and bad, they gobble up with gusto. The latter have a clear view of the culture with no delusions, and truly know the people, experiencing the differences between life here and where they came from in a meaningful way. That’s my take on it anyway.

Recently I joined the ranks of the latter. I accepted a position for less money than I would make in the states, though to be fair, I couldn’t get the job in the states. My new employer is an Argentine company that does business almost exclusively in the US and so my distinct lack of perfect Spanish will not be a handicap. It is a start up and so my distinct lack of experience in the position did not stop them from hiring me.

It is a strange and beautiful time in my life when I don’t need the work, but want it. I have enough money to live so was able to take a job that didn’t pay extremely well. There is promise for financial reward if I do well, but along side that, and for me more meaningful, is the opportunity to grow into some new skills and perspectives I have stepped into in the years since my last corporate experience. I am also fascinated by the unique dynamic of an international office. There are people from many different countries working in my company with different levels of English and Spanish. Russia, America, England, Ireland, Canada, Brazil, Argentina and so on. One thing I notice already is that somehow, the company has created a software system used by Americans, created by Argentines and developmentally directed by people from other countries. There is often not a lot of communication going on between these groups, and that is not very different from other companies I’ve been with.

Life in Buenos Aires is exhausting. Getting to work takes an hour and by the time I arrive I feel as if I’ve burned up my rocket fuel and wonder how I’ll get through reentry. Still, it is an experience that I am hungry for. I look forward to getting to know some of these people and to making a difference in the life of the company.

It’s not my dream job, but then again, Argentina has been like that for us. It is not my dream job, in not my dream city, not my dream apartment, but each with something to teach, something to offer, an unexpected something, that leave me knowing my happiness is my responsibility. Buenos Aires is different from San Diego in that way. In San Diego you almost have to work at not being happy. It is a beautiful, mild, warm, friendly place where life is easy. Not so this city. If you want to be happy here, you have to be intentional about it.

And so it was last night, as I lay in our big comfortable bed, finally unpacked after almost a year in a storage container. I felt the cool, clean sheets against my skin and looked up through the glass ceiling in our bedroom at the stars and the moon, the night sky so beautiful to fall asleep under. I could have focused on all the things that are wrong with our new apartment - I won’t bore you with the list - suffice it to say it is very long. I could have thought about all the things I don’t have here. I chose instead, as I drifted toward sleep, to feel a sense of comfort and satisfaction that we are building a life for ourselves here that is our own. It may not be the life we wanted and it most certainly is not perfect, but it is ours and we are defining it, honing it, shaping it to fit us. That is all we can do really, and it is work worth doing.